Keeping Individuals With Disabilities Out of Your Church

Part of smart, surgical growth is maximizing per-pew revenue. To that end we present our case as to why you should continue to (or start) being intentional about excluding individuals with disabilities from your programs.

• The very presence of individuals with disabilities make others--particularly high-erners--uncomfortable. By welcoming individuals with disabilities you are not only filling your church with low/non tithers--you are driving away highe-earners which make up the lifeblood of the church.
• Serious fellowship with individuals with disabilities call into question the idea that God is out there to prosper everybody. This idea is responsible for packing the pews with high-earners. Interacting with Christian individuals with disabilities is existentially destructive of any prosperity theology.
• Individuals with disabilities make prayer look bad. Prayer is generally used for times of crisis where a relatively speedy resolution (or non-resolution which can be swept under the rug). Individuals with disabilities emit the stench of unanswered prayer. They almost never get better, they usually get worse, and face some of the worst oppression society has to offer (especially with regards to vocation).
• Individuals with Disabilities are usually single. That means they don't produce the next generation of church members.

How do you discourage individuals with disabilities from darkening your door?

• Your first line of defense is inaccessibility. Thankfully most of the work has already been done for you. Your church is probably in a suburb not anywhere near public transportation (and anyway the buses don't run much on Sunday). Chances are your church was built before the Americans with Disabilities Act came through in the 90's so it is only partially or non-accessable. By keeping your building inaccessible to individuals with disabilities you get a triple benefit--you save money on remodeling, and you keep the low-earning elderly and individuals with disabilities out.
• Your second line of defense is your greeters. Make sure they are as unwelcoming to individuals with disabilities as possible. Teach them how to snub, not give bulletins, stare or avert eyes entirely, etc.. Actually you might not have to teach them at all, they probably do it naturally.
• Your third line of defense is the laity. The nice thing is the alphas generally dislike individuals with disabilities and will make that fact known in all the socially permitted ways possible.